Today is my baby girl Caroline Ruth’s 2nd birthday. She came into this world 24 months ago (give or take 45 minutes from the time of my writing), and I can honestly say, I’ve never been the same. The time spent on my knees in prayer before her arrival was considerable, but it’s been surpassed by the time spent praying over her as she lays in her crib since. Blessing seems too trite a word to use to describe this little blonde haired, blue eyed giver of joy! But she is one. A BIG one, to everyone she meets.
And today, she got a pretty cool birthday present.
She’s going to have a baby sister!
After hearing that the baby that we’re expecting could be born with Down’s Syndrome on Friday afternoon, followed by a birthday party thrown in seriously “Al Gore could be right” weather on Saturday, and a busy Sunday and Monday, we went to the doctor today for a “Level 2” ultrasound. As I waited for Amanda to come into the room, I stood in silence for a few moments, praying. I was still praying my “specifically unspecific prayer.” Long story short, our baby girl bears no markers for Down’s. Praise God!
As the technician went through each of the things they look for to diagnose Down’s, and explained how our baby didn’t have any of them, my heart just got more and more full. When I heard that I was going to have another little girl, it nearly exploded! Who am I, that I deserve such gifts?!! I watched my little girl kick and spin and move around inside Amanda’s belly, through this insane miracle of technology, and all I could do was praise God. I saw her heart beating 160 bpm, and I prayed “Lord, let it beat for Your glory, and Your’s alone!”
Yet I also sat there wondering how many people had been in our same position and didn’t get the news we got. How many sat there and found out that their baby did have some type of problem? How many got the news that their baby might not make it full term? And how many, like us 4 years ago, experienced the world-shattering realization that their baby had died?
I went into today struggling with myself over this, over how to pray, and over whether or not I truly trust God. Do I really believe His promise to work “all things for good to those who are the called according to” His purpose? (Rom. 8:28) I tried my best to rest in His promises and in His Word. And I was determined to give Him glory, irregardless of the outcome. Honestly, I don’t know how I would have responded to the other alternative. I’m thankful the Lord didn’t put me through that test.
So tonight, I give Him glory! I praise Him and Him alone, for my daughters are fearfully and wonderfully made! I praise Him for His faithfulness, even when I am unfaithful, and for His mercy and grace that plunged the depths to rescue me. Why am I so blessed? Why has He given me these 3 girls to share life with? I have no idea.
But I am thankful! You have no idea how thankful!!!
So happy birthday, Caroline Ruth! You’ll always be daddy’s little girl!